inner work

What does it mean to do inner work? To me, it means that instead of, or in addition to, doing the ‘outer’ work of finding a job, a house, a relationship, meeting your survival needs, etc. you look at your “stuff” (your habitual reactions, unkind judgements, subconscious beliefs), you feel your historical and present-day emotions so they run their course (especially big ones like shame, unworthiness, anger, grief, etc), and you offer some nurture and understanding to the hurt parts of you that are hungry for care. Doing this work means slowing down and becoming aware of how you react to anything or anyone that crosses your path. It takes courage and readiness for things to be different.

self-discovery

What does it mean to discover yourself? On one level, it means to discover what you’d love to say and do without the rules and demands of others. Who are you underneath the mask you’ve used to adapt to danger and distress? It involves pursuing what brings you joy and finding the right people to surround yourself with. On another level, self-discovery means discovering who you are underneath your likes and dislikes, your labels and social roles. What’s left when you take away your age, gender, sexuality, race, income, occupation, stories, histories, preferences, dreams? What is there? Can you feel into it? Can you rest in it? Can you rest as it?