inner work

What does it mean to do inner work? To me, it means that instead of, or in addition to, doing the ‘outer’ work of finding a job, a house, a relationship, meeting your survival needs, etc., you look at your “stuff” (your habitual reactions, judgements, subconscious beliefs), you feel your emotions, both historical and present-day, so they live out their lifespan (especially big ones like shame, unworthiness, anger, grief, etc), and you offer some nurture and compassion to the hurt parts of you that are hungry for care. Doing this work means slowing down your interpersonal life and becoming aware of how you react to anything or anyone that crosses your path. It takes courage and readiness for things to be different.

self-discovery

What does it mean to discover yourself? On one level, it means to discover what you’d love to say and do without the rules and demands of others. Who are you underneath the mask you’ve used to adapt to danger and distress in relationships? On this level of self-discovery, it involves pursuing what brings you joy and finding the right people to surround yourself with. On another level, self-discovery means discovering who you are underneath your likes and dislikes, your labels, and your social roles. This happens through self-enquiry, which the sage Ramana Maharshi defined as “the one, infallible means, the only direct one, to realize the unconditioned, absolute Being that you really are”. What’s left when you take away your age, gender, sexuality, race, income, occupation, stories, histories, preferences, dreams? What is there? Can you feel it? Can you rest in it? Can you rest as it?